I Need Therapy

Oh blog how I have missed you so! So many times I had brilliant ideas to turn into funny, interesting or just plain sweet things about life I wanted to share. So many times I collapsed into my bed at 7:30 and never made it happen. It is cold and not very snugly in that desk chair. My bed is warm and has a sweet little 2 year old in it to snuggle. My sweet little 2 year old I only see a few short hours a day. WWYD???

So tonight I am making it happen. In bed while laying down holding the iPad with my left hand and typing with one finger on my right while soaking up the heat and sweet smell of my freshly bathed princess. I have really just felt like I needed some writing therapy. It is like having a good cry without all of the tears and sobbing and shit. And much more effective than making a FB status update. Way too many people use FB as therapy these days and I have to say that I find it equally entertaining and completely annoying. So many times I just want to tell people to shut.the.fuck.up. And that would be rude. And I am never rude! ;) The election was enough to take me over the edge. So many times I typed snide or smartass comments to self righteous, ignoramus all around dumbfuckery only to chicken out and delete them. I didn't have the time or energy to get into what would surely turn into a debate of wits. My wits are pretty slow these days. Can people just own a set of beliefs without shoving them down your throat repeatedly with a bunch of photoshop and pic art propaganda? Must they belittle every opinion out there that does not match their own? Can people not have civilized debates backed by factual information? I was so looking forward to election day so that it could all finally be over. Nope. Same obnoxiousness. Much gloating. Lots of Bitter Bettie's.

I miss home. I feel like I am never in it. Just a big adjustment that even almost 2 months into I am having a hard time with. Place is a wreck!! Makes it worse to be gone all day and come home to tornado, whining hungry kid town. We are especially out of sorts because we just had our downstairs floors refinished. We are also repainting our kitchen cabinets. We have no furniture until Friday when the new stuff is delivered and my kitchen is emptied. We are living on fast food and hanging in the cold dirty ass basement eating off TV trays. I am seriously not complaining though. My floors are gorgeous and it will all be so lovely when it is done and everything is back in it's place. I have been waiting years.....yes years for this. Oh and guess who is getting a dishwasher???? Me me meeeeeee! Get to pick it up on the 20th. No more damned dishpan hands here!

Man typing this with one finger is taking forever. My left hand is going numb from holding the iPad. Enough therapy for one night? I guess. Although it feels unfinished.

Felt good. :)

Hi Ho Hi Ho

So it has been more than a week since I went back to work. All in all it has been good. The kids and I have all gotten into our new routine pretty easily and we haven't had too much drama in the morning. When I worked before I had to be there at 7 am. So I had to get up, get ready, get the kids up and ready and out the door by 6:20 to get them to daycare by 6:30. And then it was a race to work. So stressful. It was chaotic every damn day. Kaleb is the slowest damn kid ever in the morning and the struggle with him and getting his hair combed to my satisfaction was and will probably always be our biggest issue. Not to mention it takes him 20 minutes to just get dressed. So slow! Now I don't have to be there until 8 am and let me tell you that hour makes a HUGE difference!

I didn't mention before but my new job is really kind of my old job. The place I worked before outsourced the work to a new company and the new company hired me. Same building, same department, a lot of the same people. It is strange because I was happy as hell to get out of there and away from the BS and drama and move on with my life. Going back, even though to a new company, new management and new company culture was very nerve wrecking at first. I just felt like there was going to be all of this bad juju floating around. It was crazy awkward the first couple of days but each day has gotten easier and it almost feels as if I never left. I have to say that the new company seems great and seems like they are all about making good changes and being focused on the job at hand. I am happy to be working for them.

I am really freaking exhausted though. Holy shit am I exhausted. Now I didn't forget how busy and tiring it is to work and raise kids and take care of a household and all that BS. It was seriously all I could think about for the last month leading up to my re-entry to the workforce. I was dreading it and now that it is here I am really feeling it. All the busyness will never go away nor will my responsibilities be lightened anytime soon but I will eventually get used to it. I find myself at about 2 in the afternoon, exhausted and bored in training daydreaming of my couch where at that time of the day I was usually relaxing holding my napping baby girl. Damn that was the good life!! :)

I miss my girl so much! She loves her daycare and never wants to leave in the evening when I pick her up. She loves playing with all of the kids and toys and getting to go to the playground every single day. The first day I dropped her off I was expecting some drama but she was so busy checking everything out and talking to the kids she didn't even notice I left. Truth be told it made me a little sad. It also made it easier to walk out of there without the need to bawl my eyes out all of the way to work. I should have known. She is a social butterfly just like her mama! Kaleb is super excited to be back with all of his before and after school buddies too!

I am trying to decide what direction to take this blog in now that my original theme no longer applies. I am thinking that it will just be an anything goes theme and I will just write about whatever I am feeling like writing about. I really just want something that my kids can look back on and read and know what their mama was like when they were little, what they were like and just how much I love them. With every ounce of my being. And that is a lot of ounces folks! ;)

I Wrote This and Didn't Cry :) It's a Miracle

It is almost over. I have 4 days and 3.5 hours until it is Monday and I go back to the world of the working. Sigh. I am excited to go back to work. I am excited about the job I got. I am excited to be working with some great people. I am excited that after months of applying to every job under the sun that someone finally hired me!

I planned on spending this week tying up loose ends, cleaning and organizing my house for sanity's sake and spending lots of quality time with Lilah. Well there is something about knowing that I am about to go back to working mom, slave to the man and everything else I just don't freaking care about all that shit. I did some cleaning and stuff but why waste my last free days cleaning when it will just all be wrecked a day later and have to be done again? I am just going to enjoy my next few days and enjoy my family before all the chaos begins again.

It has been such a great 10 months. The most enjoyable and happy time of my life for so many reasons. The time with my family has been the best part. I got to spend all day every day with my baby girl. I got to see her grow and develop and not miss a single second of it. We have developed such a special relationship that I am not sure we would have if I had never had this opportunity. I love her so much! I got her potty trained too! Bonus. I got to spend the entire summer with Kaleb. We went to the amusement park, water park, plain old park, movies, bowling and just had a great summer together. He is getting so big. Before I know it he won't be interested in doing things like this with mom and I am so happy we got this time now. And I got to be with Josh more. We worked opposite schedules and really only spent any time together on the weekends. We got to be with each other every single day. And we were happy about it!

I took the time to learn some new recipes, made some pretty things, read some books for the first time in years and did a lot of RELAXING!!! That has always been somewhat of a foreign word in my existence as a mother. The time I had off let me realize that you have got to stop and smell the roses even when you are busy as hell because the roses smell GOOD!!!

Hopefully I can slip back into a routine with ease and not let the stress of all being a full time employee, wife and mother get the best of me. I can do this. I actually WANT to do this! Go me.

I leave you with pics of moments that would not have happened if I hadn't been home!

So You Say It's Your Birthday

Tomorrow is my 36th birthday. I was planning on writing all about the ups and downs of aging but decided that I didn't want to depress myself the night before my birthday. :) Instead I am going to focus on the good parts of aging. YES........ there are good parts! For one, I know exactly who I am and no longer feel the pressure of figuring it all out. Yes, I am ever changing and evolving but I don't have the who am I , where am I going in life questions looming over my head. I am a mother and a wife. I am smart and funny and talk too much. I am OCD with my house cleaning but too lazy to keep it the way I want it so I am always frustrated with it's appearance. I like to go out and have fun but not too often and I have realized that I like to drink less and less. I enjoy spending time with friends and family but I hate it when my weekends are booked solid with parties and activities. I enjoy having at least one day on the weekend to spend at home snuggling with my family and being lazy. I am super crafty and enjoy creating beautiful things. I am not nearly generous enough, I am stingy with my money and my time and I hate that I am that way. I am brutally honest and share too much about myself. I can be calm one minute and then lose my shit the next over something stupid. Usually something stupid my kids have done. I have serious anxiety about random absurd things and worry about those things happening to my loved ones all of the time. I can and do strike up conversations with strangers just about everywhere I go. I love to write this blog!!

You get the picture. The second thing that I have noticed about myself as I get older is that I do not give a fat rat's ass what people think about me. I used to spend entirely too much energy worrying about how people felt about me. If they thought I was nice or pretty or cool or whatever. I have now realized that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I know how awesome I am and anyone who doesn't think so can fuck off! :) In all seriousness, who cares if someone thinks I am a bitch or annoying or whatever. They are entitled to their opinion. I guess. 

Okay so maybe that is all the good parts of aging I can think of right now. Maybe that is all there is. I will probably be enlightened more as more years pass. I hope so! 

By the way, I got a job. I start in 2 weeks. I am excited and sad and nervous and all kinds of emotions. Until then I plan on spending as much time as possible having fun with my kids. I am trying to decide if I should change the name of my blog. Maybe Sarah Is a Raging Lunatic or Lifestyles of the Crazy and Lazy or something like that. :) I probably won't write as much (not that I write much now) but I do want to keep it alive. It will probably transition into an outlet to vent my frustrations as a busy working mom. Maybe if I had an outlet like this when I worked before I wouldn't have been such a hot mess!

2 Weeks Later

It has been 2 weeks since I wrote, well rambled. I feel like all of my thoughts since then have been one big thought jumble marathon. Now it's 7 am on a Saturday morning 2 weeks later and I rambling again. I woke up at 5:30. Couldn't sleep. I am supposed to be having the 3rd day of my garage sale today but there is a 50% chance of rain all day and a 100% chance that if it started raining I would throw my hands up in the  air and say "fuck it" and let it rain all over my shit because I am just over it. Garage sale having is for the birds (whatever the hell "for the birds" means. Seriously, who came up with that shit?) I did it all by myself and it was so much work. I had a hand here and there but I mainly did it alone. Josh was working and all my peeps were too. Just me and Sis out there slinging our crap to a bunch of strangers. I have to say it is weird as hell to have people you don't know walking around your driveway fingering your stuff. And my girl is quite the salesgirl! She kept taking her pretty little dresses off the rack and following people around telling them all about it. She was quite the helper! My best customers were the ah hem.... illegal border crossing citizens of our country. I had a ton come and they bought a bunch of toys, baby clothes and my clothes. I appreciated every one of them who wanted my crap but every time they spoke to each other in Spanish I kept thinking that they were saying things like, "She wants $1 for this crap. Bitch is crazy!!!!!" I met a lot of really nice people, a lot of not so friendly people and even one really REALLY weird guy. He was browsing the table and rack of baby girl clothes I had. He was older, and to sum it up looked like Santa Claus with everyday clothes on. I thought maybe he had a granddaughter or something. He asked me if I had any preemie sizes. Um no, my babies were giants. I showed him where the 0-3 months stuff was and he stated they were too big and proceeded to pull out his wallet and show me a laminated photo of a teddy bear in a dress. Um...okay. Then he told me she was 7 years old and 6.75 lbs or something like that. Say what? When he left I started second guessing the photo and thought maybe it was a dog instead but never the less (is that supposed to be one word?) it was bizarre. To each their own I guess. Shudder. Well I made $350 bucks after taking out the $20 I spent on 4 signs. Rip off! (I was too lazy and unorganized to make my own FREE signs). $350 is almost enough to buy a new dishwasher!!!!!!

I have not had a dishwasher for about a year now. No big deal really since I haven't been working. I have time to do the dishes. It doesn't make me hate it any less though! But I am going back to work soon. I need a damn dishwasher. Going back to work.....fuck. I have so many mixed emotions about it. I am excited about working again because I really don't mind the work part. I enjoy contributing to something, to having the social interaction with other adults, the PAYCHECK!!! But I don't enjoy the whole working mom juggling act that comes with it. Taking the little time you have left over in the week to juggle all the other things. And most importantly I KNOW that it takes time away from my kids and Josh and just typing this fucking sentence is making me cry. Sigh. I just need to get over it and get a handle on how to make the best of my time and make the best of how it is going to be again. It is inevitable, it is coming, no matter how much I wish it wasn't. My time off has been a wonderful, life altering experience. But it was a window into the good life and now that the window is shutting it sometimes makes me wish that it never opened and I was still blissfully ignorant that life can be so much better on the other side.

That is if someone hires me! :)  I have had 2 job interviews and have to say that they both went very well. The first place was actually gushing at the end of my interview and the 2nd place had more of a poker face approach but I think I nailed the interview and have the knowledge and the experience they are looking for (and I made sure they know that). So if one of them doesn't hire me my confidence is going to deflate big time!

I am downstairs on the computer and I can hear my babies up there now awake and giggling with daddy. I must go join the bliss!  

4 a.m Ramblings

I can't sleep. I was sleeping. Josh went to a bachelor party tonight. Anytime he is out drinking my body has an internal alarm that goes off about 2 a.m. I am a worrier. He isn't home so I call him. No answer. I wait a few minutes and call again. I am really trying not to be stalker wife but I HAVE to know that all is well. I worry that he tried to drive drunk or was in an accident or who really knows. I just worry. I have to wonder if I get this much anxiety when he is out what I will be like when my kids are teens. Oy. Well as I am calling he stumbles in the front door. Yeah! :) All is well! I am not sure who dropped him off but thank you! He is now resting nicely on the bathroom floor. This is where he likes to sleep when he has had too much to drink. So back to bed I go where Kaleb and Lilah are both sleeping as well. They are both laying sideways, both kicking me repeatedly and both talking in their sleep. I can hear Josh snoring in the bathroom down the hall. Fuck it. Where is my phone? No new news on FB. No new games of Words With Friends. I guess I will read my horoscope. I find it to be very fitting to what is going on in my life right now. It comforts me to know that for some reason. A horoscope comforts me. Lord I need to go back to sleep. Wait. Wasn't that one bill due today? Did I pay it? Better check. It is 4 a.m and I am at the computer. Bill is due the 12th and I have it set up for automatic payment. Damn I'm good. I miss my blog. I haven't written in a while. I will write. Writing is therapeutic. Maybe it will help me relax so I can go back to fucking sleep! I am tired. School starts on Tuesday. The summer went too fast. We should have went to the pool more. The kids love to swim. Did go to Oceans of Fun twice this week. And to the movies, and school shopping and Worlds of Fun. I took some cute pics. I should write a post about the last week of our summer. Maybe Sunday I will. Busy tomorrow. I hate busy weekends but am actually looking forward to tomorrow. Getting my haircut finally. It is a mess. Going to see my friends. Love them bitches. I have a job interview next week. Yes, a job. I love to be home with my kids. Love it. But I love to pay my bills too. So here is to working. I will write soon in more depth about returning to work. Too tired and emotional about it now to write about it. I am thankful for the interview. It is rough out there in the job market people. Don't let those talks on the faux news stations about recovering umemployment fool you. Must get back to sleep. Oh not only am I going back to work but I am starting my own business selling jewelry. Yes I go from no job to 2 jobs. I hope 2 jobs. I hate rejection. I have had 2 phone interviews that never called me back. Not even did I get a fuck you email or anything. OMG it is almost 5 am. Going to bed. Even if I just lay there and wish I was sleeping. This is what 4 a.m  crazy looks like. I got too much sun today. I wish I would have taken a pic of Josh sleeping on the bathroom floor.

Lions, Tigers and Bears Oh My!

I have been wanting to go the zoo since spring. You know back when it wasn't 100 degrees out every single day! Well blame my procrastination but we made it to July and hadn't been to the zoo yet. Lilah loves all things animal and since she hadn't been yet I was dying to take her. Luckily we got a 2-3 day break in the heat so I packed up a small cooler full of water and juiceboxes, made some PB&J's and headed off to the zoo with the kids. You know it has been Satan hot when you think the mid 90's is a break in the heat!

I haven't been to the Kansas City Zoo in years, not since Kaleb was 4! We have gone to Omaha to the Henry Doorly Zoo a few times and that place is fabulous! They have so many animals and cool exhibits and everything is in close proximity to each other. KC Zoo..... doesn't really have any of that. It's main advantage? It is in the city we live in. It is a 30 minute drive. The end. They don't have very many animals and you have to walk 100 miles in between "exhibits". Maybe if I didn't have an awesome zoo experience  to compare it to I would think it was better. Doubtful though. But it is what we have so we made the best of it!

I said before that Lilah LOVES animals. She wants to "hold" them all. Even the big scary ones. It is really cute at first but after explaining to her 10 times why she cannot hold the animals it became less cute. We saw a polar bear swimming, birds, tigers, orangutans, lions, giraffe, zebra, hippos, giant tortoises, camel, and few things in between. It was pretty hot but we managed to make it through the whole place in 5 hours and they kids enjoyed the train ride, the playground and the carousel.  All in all it was worth the $30 bucks spent and we made a nice memory! And of course I took picures!

Tigers!

Look Mom, I want to hold it!

Going through the tunnel on the train. 

Playing in the African Hut. 

They loved this cave!

Kaleb rescuing Lilah from the goose. 

Cool kids on a tram. 

Gorilla Carousal 

Look ma I'm swimming!

Do you FB?

Do you Facebook? Oh I know that is a silly question. Of course you Facebook. Who doesn't Facebook? We have it on our desktops, our laptops, our phones, our iPads and iPods. Ok, I do know a few people (pretty sure I can count them on one hand) that do not have a Facebook. I actually have a 33 year old female friend that does not have one. When we gossip and I say "Did you hear that such and such is pregnant" or that "such and such and such and such broke up", etc., and she doesn't know I say. "Well if you had a Facebook you would!" When I ask her why the hell she doesn't have a FB yet she answers that she doesn't need everyone in the world knowing her business. What? Does she not know that you control what you put on your FB? You get to determine what is shared and what isn't. Right? Well unless you have a friend tagging you in posts, pictures and check-ins! I tried to explain to her that she is missing out on a piece of history, a movement that has been engulfed by our generation and every other generation that exists. My 8 year old son is on FB. My parents are on FB. My freaking grandma is on FB!!!! It isn't going anywhere. It is an ever changing cultural phenomenon that good or bad is here to stay.  Facebook is everywhere. There isn't a website I have visited that doesn't have a "Like" or "Share" button on it somewhere. Not to mention the Corporations/Products pages! Do you like Dr. Pepper, Southwest Airlines, or Downey? I do!!

How many times a day to you "check" your FB? I check mine anywhere from 5-15 times a day depending on what I am doing. Hey! I don't have a job! Seriously. I mostly check it on my phone. Every time I pick it up! It is like a reflex to push that the FB icon on my homepage. God forbid I miss anything!   As of today I have 482 friends. I "know" every single person on my friends list. "Know" meaning I  have met them at least once or had an acquaintance or friendship with them at some time in my 35 years of life. Out of those 482 about 100 post regularly (all the freaking time) and another 100 post sporadically at best. The rest of em? I assume they are quietly stalking the rest of us! I personally fall into the "post sporadically at best" catagory. I used to post more but my life has become increasingly dull and I just can't bring myself to post "So booooooored!" or "Just doing nothing" or "Blaaaahhhh". I do LOVE to share pictures of my cute ass kids though. You can always count on me for that. There is nothing wrong with a little shameless bragging! 

So as I was thinking about writing this blog I decided to break down some status categories and give real life examples of status post from my Newsfeed. Ready? I might lose some FB friends over this! 

Political opinions/bashing and Conspiracy Theorists

"I know that HATE is a strong word but I HATE Hilary Clinton!!! Evil Evil Evil!!"

I always try to stay out of the politics on FB. I am not smart enough to keep up. But to each their own opinion...I guess. 

All About the Kids

"I love that all of my children call a fly swatter a "bee whacker!" I was also told by Reese earlier today, "just watch and learn, mom; watch and learn". I love that they have the ability to make me laugh, no matter how much they may have gotten on my nerves throughout the day!"

Brag away! It is one of the joys of parenthood. It is something that helps talk us down from the ledge of insanity. A way to remember that they are not always little pain in the asses that ruined our bodies and made our hair fall out.  

Sport Support

"Goal. 2 and 3 in the last minute sporting 3-0!"

Go ahead and throw in any thing to do with the Jayhawks, Chiefs or them Royals. 

Huh? I am a sports fan in that I like to get drunk at sports events. Go ahead and post them but I usually just skip over those! ;)

Boredom Report

"Bbblllllaaaahhhhh"

Really? You just had to post something but couldn't think of ANYTHING else to say? 

Drama Drama Drama

"Okay. Trying to stay positive because my daughter deserves it. But my other daughter DOSENT deserve whats being thrown her way. Some adults really need to grow up. And I use that term adult very loosely."

You tell em! She doesn't deserve it and those loose adults should just leave her alone! Some people are drama drama drama all the time! Not knocking em. I love a good soap opera! FB was made for my entertainment right? 

Jokers, Smokers and Tokers

"Eyes a Little Low Cause I Twist the Dro......"

"So they ask me what name we want for user name for our wifi.... Of course I went with " pretty fly for a Wifi "

"Let's not forget the one guy in Miami who isn't celebrating tonight because his face got eaten off and he couldn't watch."

These are my favorites! I love someone who is not afraid to be who they are and those with the gift of humor. There are a few people who are consistently funny on FB. I am jealous! 

Vague statements of anger/annoyance

"Actions speak volumes!!! Wow!"

"And you wonder why we want nothing to do with you!"

"SO sick of always trying to be nice & keep my mouth shut!!!!"

OMG! What happened? Who are you talking about? Inquiring minds want to know! Details please! I am guilty of these types of posts. Especially when I was working and always felt like I had something to be pissed about!

Advice Columnist/Quoters

"There has never been anyone exactly like you, nor will there be anyone with your gifts and abilities in the future. Stand up straight, smile and share your uniqueness with the world today."

"Why do some people make the same mistakes over and over...........expecting a different result? Change is not always bad but it is scary at times. You just have to chalk it up as a learning experience, learn from your mistakes, and move the (F#&K) on. STOP REPEATING THE STUPIDITY!!"

OMG thank you! Why am I paying for a therapist again? Kidding... I don't go to therapy. But I probably should.

I am so sick of Facebook!!

"So uh, I just noticed a lot more ads in FB, including in the middle of my newsfeed??? If it weren't for our families being on here...I swear..."

"HATE! want to crush/close account. Where's MySpace Tom??"

Also throw in anything about the timeline or FB design updates. 

MySpace??? Ha. That's some funny shit right there. There are not enough fingers and toes in the world to count the number of times I have seen a complaint about FB itself. It is a free service. We are not required to participate. But we do. Even if we hate it. Facebook: We can't quit you! I have seen a few people make an exodus from Facebook.....but they ALWAYS come back.

Dulldrum 

"Going to the store"

"Just washed my car"

Okay so I made those up! But you know you have seen them. The statement of the most mundane tasks you do. I find myself saying "Who fucking cares" often. 

There are several others categories that deserve Honorable Mention: Prayer requests, Should have asked Google, Share this if you know someone, Check out my Small Business, and everything in between. We share. We share EVERYTHING! And I know I have probably perpetrated every type of status I have named!  

Now if you recognize your status and are upset or offended I apologize. There is a reason I didn't name the authors. But remember. You put it out there. You wanted people to see it. This post isn't meant to make fun of anyone just how I see FB. There is a place for everything on FB and that is what makes it so awesome.  Maybe if I am lucky I will get a vague statement of anger/annoyance written about me today, "No that bitch didn't quote me in her blog!" ;)

Sofaking Bored!

A few months ago when I was still employed, I would have never fathomed being bored. I was too damn busy to be bored. Fast forward to now. It is summertime!! Yeah baby.... I have been looking forward to summertime since my illustrious exit from the workforce. Summertime is pretty awesome. First of all, no school for Kaleb equals no alarm clock! It has been so many years since the alarm clock had no place in my life. We stay up late, we sleep late. It's awesome. No complaints there! I also don't have to make a 30 minute round trip excursion to Kaleb's school twice a day. Yippee! We can do what we want, when we want to do it. Sounds awesome right? Well it is. It is awesome except for the fact that we now have 7 days a week to fill up time!!! Do you know how much time that is?

We have filled up some time going to Worlds of Fun and Oceans of Fun quite a few times. We have the passes so it really doesn't cost much to go. However, I can only take so much of said places. Once a week is about all I can handle. It is too damn hot now to go to WOF and OOF with a 2 year old and an 8 year old by yourself is not as much fun as you might think. Lilah wants to hang in the kids pool area and Kaleb gets super bored there. He loves the Wave Pool. Lilah HATES the wave pool. She has to wear a OOF issued lifejacket that looks like it is choking the hell out of her so who could blame her. If I was a smart mom I would get her her own well fitted neoprene life jacket. Right? It's on my list. And to top it off I loathe wearing a bathing suit! Who doesn't? Shut up you skinny bitches! I don't care if every other woman there has saddle bags or a gut or thunder thighs. It doesn't make it any better! 

We signed up for  Kids Bowl Free too. That is a pretty sweet deal. Two free games a day if you want for your kids. I signed me and Josh up too for $21 and we get to bowl 2 games a day every day as well. There is nothing to dislike about going bowling.  Especially since the bowling alley is 2 minutes from home! Everyone has a good time and the only thing to argue about is who is the better bowler! 

Between the obstacles of having a 2 year old (napping, potty training, general overall craziness), the cost of most things and the obnoxious heat wave we have been having lately we haven't been doing much. And I am sofaking bored! Seriously. I find myself on most days wondering from room to room looking for something to do. Sure I could scrub the bathtub or clean the basement. But no. You have to be in the mood to do those things and I ain't in it! Summertime has made me lazy. A lazy that I have never known myself to be before. It is a strange feeling and one I am not comfortable with. I can't get interested in anything. I love crafts but can't get in the right mind to sit down and create something fabulous. I love to read but am too lazy to go to the library to find a good book and too cheap to go buy the Fifty Shades series which is next on my want to read list. I am currently #88 in the hold queue at the library for the first book. At that rate I should be reading it sometime in the next 3 years! I can't even stand being on the internet or watching TV or playing a game on my phone for too long. Maybe I have ADHD or something. Or maybe having nothing to do is so foreign to me that I don't know how to handle it. I have guilt. Isn't their something I NEED to be doing? 

With all of that said I bet I have some working mothers about ready to shoot me right now! Ladies.....I know. I have shot many imaginary arrows/bullets through the hearts/eyes of many a stay at home mom in my day. How dare they complain about anything? Lucky bitches! But I found that their is validity to their compliants of insanity and boredom and unfullfillment. They are real feelings that I feel all the time! But in my heart I know that the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. Spending all of this time with my kids and being home all of this time has taught me one very important thing. Being bored is better than being overloaded any day! I am getting precious time with my kids that I will never get back. I am learning things about them and seeing parts of their personalities I might have never known. When my time comes to go back to the world of the busy, hard working do it all mom who never has a moment to herself I will hopefully fall back into that world gracefully and not lose too much of my mind in the process. Until then I need to relax and see that being lazy can be awesome and not something to be guilty about.

We Rocked Date Night

On Saturday Josh and I decided we needed to get out and have some kid free time on Saturday. It had been awhile. Actually it had been so long we couldn't remember the last time we had a "date night" or what we even did. We weren't sure what to do though. We had all just had a late lunch at Chili's so dinner was out of the question. We thought about going out on the bike, going to the movies, and a bunch of other random not so exciting stuff. Then I remembered that Korn was playing at the Uptown Theatre! Hello, awesome! I have seen them play several times but Josh hadn't seen them ever. With the Uptown being such a small venue we were super stoked to go. There were still tickets available so we snatched some up and took the kiddos to grandma's.

Neither one of us had ever been to the Uptown. Man is it cool! It was opened in 1928 so it is close to 100 years old and the ornate beauty of that era shines through still to this day with it's brightly painted, elaborately ornamental columns, balconies and archways. When we entered the theater the show had already began so it was pretty dark in there but you could still see how beautiful it was. Josh said it was the perfect venue for Korn to play since it felt like a medieval castle. The first opening act Red Line Chemistry was on stage and they were great. They had a lot of energy and songs I knew. They did a cover of Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty and I have to say it was better than the original.

After they were done there were 2 more acts before Korn: J Devil, which is Jonathan Davis the lead singer of Korn's alter ego who apparently is a DJ but we missed that whole act and another DJ named Sluggo. We caught the very end of his act but both decided that he wasn't anything special. While we were busy missing both of these acts we were outside in the smoker's corral as I lovingly call it. Man was there some good people watching out there! We met some really interesting folks out there. Even got invited out to someone's car to drink some Natty Lights!  We did actually meet a cool couple Clint and Sara from Topeka that we ended up hanging out with most of the night. Some of the members of Red Line Chemistry came out and hung out and talked and took pictures and signed autographs. That was kick ass! They are from KC and are very cool and down to earth. They have definitely found a new fan in me!

When it was time for Korn to come on we shuffled inside to find a place as close as we could to the stage. We soon found we weren't getting as close as we liked since the place was packed. It was seriously asses to elbows on the floor in front of the stage. We found a place probably about 80 feet from the stage (pretty close really). They came on and did not disappoint! They played a bunch of their new stuff but also played a lot of their old favorites of mine like Freak On a Leash, Falling Away From Me, Got the Life, Blind and even did their cover of Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd and a small part of One by Metallica. We were about 3 rows behind what became a huge mosh pit. It was so freaking hot in there though! We were all drenched in sweat. Guys without shirts were walking by with their sweaty ass arms/back/chest rubbing on you as they passed. So gross! I really didn't mind the crowd, the heat or the sweatiness too much since I had a few of their $10 beers in me. Yes I said $10!!! Seriously folks. Ridiculousness. Didn't slow us down though! :) We had the BEST time and got to see a kick ass show by a band that has been around for a long ass time and still brings down the house.

Me and Mike (drummer from Red Line Chemistry)

Josh and Andy (guitar player from Red Line Chemistry)

We were pretty damn close

Can you see how sweaty I am? Gross.

Fun With Fingerpaints

It is summertime! Time for fun sleeping in and fun in the sun! I have been looking forward to my very first summer home with the kids. It is something that I could only dream about being able to do when I was a working mom. I thought if I was only off I could take them to the pool and to the zoo and to Worlds of Fun, etc. I only thought about all of the fun things we could be doing out and about and never thought about how much work it takes to keep them busy in between the all of the fun outings.

Last October we took Kaleb to Worlds of Fun for his birthday. They were running a deal that if you bought Gold passes to Worlds of Fun and Oceans of Fun (that included free parking!!) for the upcoming 2012 season for $89 you would also get into the park free that day. Since we were about to pay $40 a piece just to get in that day and just paid $15 to park it was a really sweet deal. Here it is not even June yet  and we have already used our passes several times. They really did pay for themselves! Besides the gas it takes to get there it is a virtually free activity we can do as many times as we want this summer. I even bought this big drink cup thingy for $12 that you can refill as many times as you want for $1!!! The best thing about having the passes is that you can go for 3-4 hours at a time (which is the MAX I can handle with Lilah) and you don't feel like you have to stay there all day like you would if you bought a day pass. Anyways as fun as it (minus the toddler tantrums and whining from the 8 year old that we have to spend most of the day in Planet Snoopy) we can't go everyday. Once or twice a week is about as much as I can handle.

So now what do we do? If I let him Kaleb would play video games ALL DAY LONG! Seriously. All day. When I tell him he's been on long enough and it is time to move on to something different what does he do? Watch TV. Sigh. Now the kid loves to play outside but if there are no kids to play with he has no interest in being out there. Can't say that I blame him. The problem is there are no kids home during the day around here. I have made the realization that my biggest job this summer is going to be keeping him busy. So yesterday I got on the internet and went on the hunt for fun activities for the kids to do that won't cost me a small fortune.

Bingo! Man the internet is awesome. I got a few ideas to get me started and wasted no time working on the first one....an art project. Now Kaleb usually rolls his eyes when I mention anything about arts and crafts but this one he really enjoyed!


I have a roll of paper so I started by rolling out and cutting two large pieces. Then I took masking tape and  spelled out their names on the paper. Luckily my kids have mostly straight line letters in their names or this might not have been so easy. The B in Kaleb's name was a bit tricky but we are not creating Picasso's here!

Then I got out the finger paints and told them to have at it. Anytime finger paints are involved you will have happy kids!

I had to help Lilah with this project for it to turn out how it was supposed to. She was only painting in one corner of the paper! Once they were done painting I set them out on the deck for fast drying and then very carefully peeled off the masking tape. And ta da! We have awesome little personal pieces of art to add to my art wall. :) Oh and it kept the kids busy for a whole 45 minutes! Double sigh! It is going to be a long summer!

Family Ties

We had a busy weekend! Not only did we have a family wedding but because of the wedding we had a bunch of family in town from Chicago. Now I have never mentioned this before but Josh has a gigantic family! His father Al is one of 14 children. Those children have children and some now have grandchildren. Al's father Al has 6,7,8 siblings himself (I have no idea how many I just know it is a lot)!

This family is very rich in tradition and history. One of my favorite memories is sitting with Grandpa Al and listening to stories of growing up in Strawberry Hill 80 years ago and how he sold newspapers on the street when he was just 5 years old. How all of the immigrants settled in the area worked hard to give their families a good life and how they all learned to speak English which is something you don't see too often these days.

In the late 70's Al moved his very large family to Chicago, IL where he worked to take care of his with Elizabeth (Betty) and his 14 children! When I think about the sheer volume of laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning, etc. that had to be done to keep this family going it seems very daunting. Grandma Betty passed away last summer and when we traveled to Chicago for her services we were pleasured with stories of her spunky, no nonsense approach to motherhood and how even though she had 14 of her own kids to take care you would often find places set at the dinner table for the friends of her children as well. She was quite a legend in their town so much so that she was featured in the local newspaper several times in her life!

Hands down what is most remarkable about this family is how close they all are. I have a very small family on both sides and sadly we are not very close. Entering this family was like entering a whole new world for me. I always get such a warm, loving feeling when we get to to be with them. Unfortunately it is not too often but when we do it is always an amazing time!

This weekend several came down to KC for the wedding and then the next day we all traveled to "The Farm" and joined the rest of the KC family for a small family reunion. I only say small because it was said  that next year they were going to have a "big" reunion. There were over 50 people there so it seemed pretty big to me! Something I should mention is that this family has what I call "Super Genes". You can't look at any of them without seeing the face of another. They all look remarkably alike and there are several sets of dopplegangers all along the generation lines. There is even a baby girl cousin on the the KC side that looks just like my Lilah! And here I thought she looked just like me!

We had a wonderful time going on a hayride with Grandpa Al his brother Joe and Joe's two daughters playing instruments and singing old Croatian tunes and sing along songs all along the way. Kaleb learned how to skip rocks and had a blast playing in the sand at the little beach at the pond and getting his feet wet in the water. Lilah and her cousin Summer (here all the way from San Diego) ran around hand in hand and even did the Hokey Pokey while Grandpa Al and his brother Joe played the guitar and sang. At dusk a fire was lit and the kids and adults alike roasted marshmallows and made smores.

It was a truly wonderful time and was sad it had to end! I can't wait to we get to see them all again.