2 Weeks Later

It has been 2 weeks since I wrote, well rambled. I feel like all of my thoughts since then have been one big thought jumble marathon. Now it's 7 am on a Saturday morning 2 weeks later and I rambling again. I woke up at 5:30. Couldn't sleep. I am supposed to be having the 3rd day of my garage sale today but there is a 50% chance of rain all day and a 100% chance that if it started raining I would throw my hands up in the  air and say "fuck it" and let it rain all over my shit because I am just over it. Garage sale having is for the birds (whatever the hell "for the birds" means. Seriously, who came up with that shit?) I did it all by myself and it was so much work. I had a hand here and there but I mainly did it alone. Josh was working and all my peeps were too. Just me and Sis out there slinging our crap to a bunch of strangers. I have to say it is weird as hell to have people you don't know walking around your driveway fingering your stuff. And my girl is quite the salesgirl! She kept taking her pretty little dresses off the rack and following people around telling them all about it. She was quite the helper! My best customers were the ah hem.... illegal border crossing citizens of our country. I had a ton come and they bought a bunch of toys, baby clothes and my clothes. I appreciated every one of them who wanted my crap but every time they spoke to each other in Spanish I kept thinking that they were saying things like, "She wants $1 for this crap. Bitch is crazy!!!!!" I met a lot of really nice people, a lot of not so friendly people and even one really REALLY weird guy. He was browsing the table and rack of baby girl clothes I had. He was older, and to sum it up looked like Santa Claus with everyday clothes on. I thought maybe he had a granddaughter or something. He asked me if I had any preemie sizes. Um no, my babies were giants. I showed him where the 0-3 months stuff was and he stated they were too big and proceeded to pull out his wallet and show me a laminated photo of a teddy bear in a dress. Um...okay. Then he told me she was 7 years old and 6.75 lbs or something like that. Say what? When he left I started second guessing the photo and thought maybe it was a dog instead but never the less (is that supposed to be one word?) it was bizarre. To each their own I guess. Shudder. Well I made $350 bucks after taking out the $20 I spent on 4 signs. Rip off! (I was too lazy and unorganized to make my own FREE signs). $350 is almost enough to buy a new dishwasher!!!!!!

I have not had a dishwasher for about a year now. No big deal really since I haven't been working. I have time to do the dishes. It doesn't make me hate it any less though! But I am going back to work soon. I need a damn dishwasher. Going back to work.....fuck. I have so many mixed emotions about it. I am excited about working again because I really don't mind the work part. I enjoy contributing to something, to having the social interaction with other adults, the PAYCHECK!!! But I don't enjoy the whole working mom juggling act that comes with it. Taking the little time you have left over in the week to juggle all the other things. And most importantly I KNOW that it takes time away from my kids and Josh and just typing this fucking sentence is making me cry. Sigh. I just need to get over it and get a handle on how to make the best of my time and make the best of how it is going to be again. It is inevitable, it is coming, no matter how much I wish it wasn't. My time off has been a wonderful, life altering experience. But it was a window into the good life and now that the window is shutting it sometimes makes me wish that it never opened and I was still blissfully ignorant that life can be so much better on the other side.

That is if someone hires me! :)  I have had 2 job interviews and have to say that they both went very well. The first place was actually gushing at the end of my interview and the 2nd place had more of a poker face approach but I think I nailed the interview and have the knowledge and the experience they are looking for (and I made sure they know that). So if one of them doesn't hire me my confidence is going to deflate big time!

I am downstairs on the computer and I can hear my babies up there now awake and giggling with daddy. I must go join the bliss!