Hi Ho Hi Ho

So it has been more than a week since I went back to work. All in all it has been good. The kids and I have all gotten into our new routine pretty easily and we haven't had too much drama in the morning. When I worked before I had to be there at 7 am. So I had to get up, get ready, get the kids up and ready and out the door by 6:20 to get them to daycare by 6:30. And then it was a race to work. So stressful. It was chaotic every damn day. Kaleb is the slowest damn kid ever in the morning and the struggle with him and getting his hair combed to my satisfaction was and will probably always be our biggest issue. Not to mention it takes him 20 minutes to just get dressed. So slow! Now I don't have to be there until 8 am and let me tell you that hour makes a HUGE difference!

I didn't mention before but my new job is really kind of my old job. The place I worked before outsourced the work to a new company and the new company hired me. Same building, same department, a lot of the same people. It is strange because I was happy as hell to get out of there and away from the BS and drama and move on with my life. Going back, even though to a new company, new management and new company culture was very nerve wrecking at first. I just felt like there was going to be all of this bad juju floating around. It was crazy awkward the first couple of days but each day has gotten easier and it almost feels as if I never left. I have to say that the new company seems great and seems like they are all about making good changes and being focused on the job at hand. I am happy to be working for them.

I am really freaking exhausted though. Holy shit am I exhausted. Now I didn't forget how busy and tiring it is to work and raise kids and take care of a household and all that BS. It was seriously all I could think about for the last month leading up to my re-entry to the workforce. I was dreading it and now that it is here I am really feeling it. All the busyness will never go away nor will my responsibilities be lightened anytime soon but I will eventually get used to it. I find myself at about 2 in the afternoon, exhausted and bored in training daydreaming of my couch where at that time of the day I was usually relaxing holding my napping baby girl. Damn that was the good life!! :)

I miss my girl so much! She loves her daycare and never wants to leave in the evening when I pick her up. She loves playing with all of the kids and toys and getting to go to the playground every single day. The first day I dropped her off I was expecting some drama but she was so busy checking everything out and talking to the kids she didn't even notice I left. Truth be told it made me a little sad. It also made it easier to walk out of there without the need to bawl my eyes out all of the way to work. I should have known. She is a social butterfly just like her mama! Kaleb is super excited to be back with all of his before and after school buddies too!

I am trying to decide what direction to take this blog in now that my original theme no longer applies. I am thinking that it will just be an anything goes theme and I will just write about whatever I am feeling like writing about. I really just want something that my kids can look back on and read and know what their mama was like when they were little, what they were like and just how much I love them. With every ounce of my being. And that is a lot of ounces folks! ;)

I Wrote This and Didn't Cry :) It's a Miracle

It is almost over. I have 4 days and 3.5 hours until it is Monday and I go back to the world of the working. Sigh. I am excited to go back to work. I am excited about the job I got. I am excited to be working with some great people. I am excited that after months of applying to every job under the sun that someone finally hired me!

I planned on spending this week tying up loose ends, cleaning and organizing my house for sanity's sake and spending lots of quality time with Lilah. Well there is something about knowing that I am about to go back to working mom, slave to the man and everything else I just don't freaking care about all that shit. I did some cleaning and stuff but why waste my last free days cleaning when it will just all be wrecked a day later and have to be done again? I am just going to enjoy my next few days and enjoy my family before all the chaos begins again.

It has been such a great 10 months. The most enjoyable and happy time of my life for so many reasons. The time with my family has been the best part. I got to spend all day every day with my baby girl. I got to see her grow and develop and not miss a single second of it. We have developed such a special relationship that I am not sure we would have if I had never had this opportunity. I love her so much! I got her potty trained too! Bonus. I got to spend the entire summer with Kaleb. We went to the amusement park, water park, plain old park, movies, bowling and just had a great summer together. He is getting so big. Before I know it he won't be interested in doing things like this with mom and I am so happy we got this time now. And I got to be with Josh more. We worked opposite schedules and really only spent any time together on the weekends. We got to be with each other every single day. And we were happy about it!

I took the time to learn some new recipes, made some pretty things, read some books for the first time in years and did a lot of RELAXING!!! That has always been somewhat of a foreign word in my existence as a mother. The time I had off let me realize that you have got to stop and smell the roses even when you are busy as hell because the roses smell GOOD!!!

Hopefully I can slip back into a routine with ease and not let the stress of all being a full time employee, wife and mother get the best of me. I can do this. I actually WANT to do this! Go me.

I leave you with pics of moments that would not have happened if I hadn't been home!

So You Say It's Your Birthday

Tomorrow is my 36th birthday. I was planning on writing all about the ups and downs of aging but decided that I didn't want to depress myself the night before my birthday. :) Instead I am going to focus on the good parts of aging. YES........ there are good parts! For one, I know exactly who I am and no longer feel the pressure of figuring it all out. Yes, I am ever changing and evolving but I don't have the who am I , where am I going in life questions looming over my head. I am a mother and a wife. I am smart and funny and talk too much. I am OCD with my house cleaning but too lazy to keep it the way I want it so I am always frustrated with it's appearance. I like to go out and have fun but not too often and I have realized that I like to drink less and less. I enjoy spending time with friends and family but I hate it when my weekends are booked solid with parties and activities. I enjoy having at least one day on the weekend to spend at home snuggling with my family and being lazy. I am super crafty and enjoy creating beautiful things. I am not nearly generous enough, I am stingy with my money and my time and I hate that I am that way. I am brutally honest and share too much about myself. I can be calm one minute and then lose my shit the next over something stupid. Usually something stupid my kids have done. I have serious anxiety about random absurd things and worry about those things happening to my loved ones all of the time. I can and do strike up conversations with strangers just about everywhere I go. I love to write this blog!!

You get the picture. The second thing that I have noticed about myself as I get older is that I do not give a fat rat's ass what people think about me. I used to spend entirely too much energy worrying about how people felt about me. If they thought I was nice or pretty or cool or whatever. I have now realized that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I know how awesome I am and anyone who doesn't think so can fuck off! :) In all seriousness, who cares if someone thinks I am a bitch or annoying or whatever. They are entitled to their opinion. I guess. 

Okay so maybe that is all the good parts of aging I can think of right now. Maybe that is all there is. I will probably be enlightened more as more years pass. I hope so! 

By the way, I got a job. I start in 2 weeks. I am excited and sad and nervous and all kinds of emotions. Until then I plan on spending as much time as possible having fun with my kids. I am trying to decide if I should change the name of my blog. Maybe Sarah Is a Raging Lunatic or Lifestyles of the Crazy and Lazy or something like that. :) I probably won't write as much (not that I write much now) but I do want to keep it alive. It will probably transition into an outlet to vent my frustrations as a busy working mom. Maybe if I had an outlet like this when I worked before I wouldn't have been such a hot mess!