Do you FB?

Do you Facebook? Oh I know that is a silly question. Of course you Facebook. Who doesn't Facebook? We have it on our desktops, our laptops, our phones, our iPads and iPods. Ok, I do know a few people (pretty sure I can count them on one hand) that do not have a Facebook. I actually have a 33 year old female friend that does not have one. When we gossip and I say "Did you hear that such and such is pregnant" or that "such and such and such and such broke up", etc., and she doesn't know I say. "Well if you had a Facebook you would!" When I ask her why the hell she doesn't have a FB yet she answers that she doesn't need everyone in the world knowing her business. What? Does she not know that you control what you put on your FB? You get to determine what is shared and what isn't. Right? Well unless you have a friend tagging you in posts, pictures and check-ins! I tried to explain to her that she is missing out on a piece of history, a movement that has been engulfed by our generation and every other generation that exists. My 8 year old son is on FB. My parents are on FB. My freaking grandma is on FB!!!! It isn't going anywhere. It is an ever changing cultural phenomenon that good or bad is here to stay.  Facebook is everywhere. There isn't a website I have visited that doesn't have a "Like" or "Share" button on it somewhere. Not to mention the Corporations/Products pages! Do you like Dr. Pepper, Southwest Airlines, or Downey? I do!!

How many times a day to you "check" your FB? I check mine anywhere from 5-15 times a day depending on what I am doing. Hey! I don't have a job! Seriously. I mostly check it on my phone. Every time I pick it up! It is like a reflex to push that the FB icon on my homepage. God forbid I miss anything!   As of today I have 482 friends. I "know" every single person on my friends list. "Know" meaning I  have met them at least once or had an acquaintance or friendship with them at some time in my 35 years of life. Out of those 482 about 100 post regularly (all the freaking time) and another 100 post sporadically at best. The rest of em? I assume they are quietly stalking the rest of us! I personally fall into the "post sporadically at best" catagory. I used to post more but my life has become increasingly dull and I just can't bring myself to post "So booooooored!" or "Just doing nothing" or "Blaaaahhhh". I do LOVE to share pictures of my cute ass kids though. You can always count on me for that. There is nothing wrong with a little shameless bragging! 

So as I was thinking about writing this blog I decided to break down some status categories and give real life examples of status post from my Newsfeed. Ready? I might lose some FB friends over this! 

Political opinions/bashing and Conspiracy Theorists

"I know that HATE is a strong word but I HATE Hilary Clinton!!! Evil Evil Evil!!"

I always try to stay out of the politics on FB. I am not smart enough to keep up. But to each their own opinion...I guess. 

All About the Kids

"I love that all of my children call a fly swatter a "bee whacker!" I was also told by Reese earlier today, "just watch and learn, mom; watch and learn". I love that they have the ability to make me laugh, no matter how much they may have gotten on my nerves throughout the day!"

Brag away! It is one of the joys of parenthood. It is something that helps talk us down from the ledge of insanity. A way to remember that they are not always little pain in the asses that ruined our bodies and made our hair fall out.  

Sport Support

"Goal. 2 and 3 in the last minute sporting 3-0!"

Go ahead and throw in any thing to do with the Jayhawks, Chiefs or them Royals. 

Huh? I am a sports fan in that I like to get drunk at sports events. Go ahead and post them but I usually just skip over those! ;)

Boredom Report

"Bbblllllaaaahhhhh"

Really? You just had to post something but couldn't think of ANYTHING else to say? 

Drama Drama Drama

"Okay. Trying to stay positive because my daughter deserves it. But my other daughter DOSENT deserve whats being thrown her way. Some adults really need to grow up. And I use that term adult very loosely."

You tell em! She doesn't deserve it and those loose adults should just leave her alone! Some people are drama drama drama all the time! Not knocking em. I love a good soap opera! FB was made for my entertainment right? 

Jokers, Smokers and Tokers

"Eyes a Little Low Cause I Twist the Dro......"

"So they ask me what name we want for user name for our wifi.... Of course I went with " pretty fly for a Wifi "

"Let's not forget the one guy in Miami who isn't celebrating tonight because his face got eaten off and he couldn't watch."

These are my favorites! I love someone who is not afraid to be who they are and those with the gift of humor. There are a few people who are consistently funny on FB. I am jealous! 

Vague statements of anger/annoyance

"Actions speak volumes!!! Wow!"

"And you wonder why we want nothing to do with you!"

"SO sick of always trying to be nice & keep my mouth shut!!!!"

OMG! What happened? Who are you talking about? Inquiring minds want to know! Details please! I am guilty of these types of posts. Especially when I was working and always felt like I had something to be pissed about!

Advice Columnist/Quoters

"There has never been anyone exactly like you, nor will there be anyone with your gifts and abilities in the future. Stand up straight, smile and share your uniqueness with the world today."

"Why do some people make the same mistakes over and over...........expecting a different result? Change is not always bad but it is scary at times. You just have to chalk it up as a learning experience, learn from your mistakes, and move the (F#&K) on. STOP REPEATING THE STUPIDITY!!"

OMG thank you! Why am I paying for a therapist again? Kidding... I don't go to therapy. But I probably should.

I am so sick of Facebook!!

"So uh, I just noticed a lot more ads in FB, including in the middle of my newsfeed??? If it weren't for our families being on here...I swear..."

"HATE! want to crush/close account. Where's MySpace Tom??"

Also throw in anything about the timeline or FB design updates. 

MySpace??? Ha. That's some funny shit right there. There are not enough fingers and toes in the world to count the number of times I have seen a complaint about FB itself. It is a free service. We are not required to participate. But we do. Even if we hate it. Facebook: We can't quit you! I have seen a few people make an exodus from Facebook.....but they ALWAYS come back.

Dulldrum 

"Going to the store"

"Just washed my car"

Okay so I made those up! But you know you have seen them. The statement of the most mundane tasks you do. I find myself saying "Who fucking cares" often. 

There are several others categories that deserve Honorable Mention: Prayer requests, Should have asked Google, Share this if you know someone, Check out my Small Business, and everything in between. We share. We share EVERYTHING! And I know I have probably perpetrated every type of status I have named!  

Now if you recognize your status and are upset or offended I apologize. There is a reason I didn't name the authors. But remember. You put it out there. You wanted people to see it. This post isn't meant to make fun of anyone just how I see FB. There is a place for everything on FB and that is what makes it so awesome.  Maybe if I am lucky I will get a vague statement of anger/annoyance written about me today, "No that bitch didn't quote me in her blog!" ;)

Sofaking Bored!

A few months ago when I was still employed, I would have never fathomed being bored. I was too damn busy to be bored. Fast forward to now. It is summertime!! Yeah baby.... I have been looking forward to summertime since my illustrious exit from the workforce. Summertime is pretty awesome. First of all, no school for Kaleb equals no alarm clock! It has been so many years since the alarm clock had no place in my life. We stay up late, we sleep late. It's awesome. No complaints there! I also don't have to make a 30 minute round trip excursion to Kaleb's school twice a day. Yippee! We can do what we want, when we want to do it. Sounds awesome right? Well it is. It is awesome except for the fact that we now have 7 days a week to fill up time!!! Do you know how much time that is?

We have filled up some time going to Worlds of Fun and Oceans of Fun quite a few times. We have the passes so it really doesn't cost much to go. However, I can only take so much of said places. Once a week is about all I can handle. It is too damn hot now to go to WOF and OOF with a 2 year old and an 8 year old by yourself is not as much fun as you might think. Lilah wants to hang in the kids pool area and Kaleb gets super bored there. He loves the Wave Pool. Lilah HATES the wave pool. She has to wear a OOF issued lifejacket that looks like it is choking the hell out of her so who could blame her. If I was a smart mom I would get her her own well fitted neoprene life jacket. Right? It's on my list. And to top it off I loathe wearing a bathing suit! Who doesn't? Shut up you skinny bitches! I don't care if every other woman there has saddle bags or a gut or thunder thighs. It doesn't make it any better! 

We signed up for  Kids Bowl Free too. That is a pretty sweet deal. Two free games a day if you want for your kids. I signed me and Josh up too for $21 and we get to bowl 2 games a day every day as well. There is nothing to dislike about going bowling.  Especially since the bowling alley is 2 minutes from home! Everyone has a good time and the only thing to argue about is who is the better bowler! 

Between the obstacles of having a 2 year old (napping, potty training, general overall craziness), the cost of most things and the obnoxious heat wave we have been having lately we haven't been doing much. And I am sofaking bored! Seriously. I find myself on most days wondering from room to room looking for something to do. Sure I could scrub the bathtub or clean the basement. But no. You have to be in the mood to do those things and I ain't in it! Summertime has made me lazy. A lazy that I have never known myself to be before. It is a strange feeling and one I am not comfortable with. I can't get interested in anything. I love crafts but can't get in the right mind to sit down and create something fabulous. I love to read but am too lazy to go to the library to find a good book and too cheap to go buy the Fifty Shades series which is next on my want to read list. I am currently #88 in the hold queue at the library for the first book. At that rate I should be reading it sometime in the next 3 years! I can't even stand being on the internet or watching TV or playing a game on my phone for too long. Maybe I have ADHD or something. Or maybe having nothing to do is so foreign to me that I don't know how to handle it. I have guilt. Isn't their something I NEED to be doing? 

With all of that said I bet I have some working mothers about ready to shoot me right now! Ladies.....I know. I have shot many imaginary arrows/bullets through the hearts/eyes of many a stay at home mom in my day. How dare they complain about anything? Lucky bitches! But I found that their is validity to their compliants of insanity and boredom and unfullfillment. They are real feelings that I feel all the time! But in my heart I know that the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. Spending all of this time with my kids and being home all of this time has taught me one very important thing. Being bored is better than being overloaded any day! I am getting precious time with my kids that I will never get back. I am learning things about them and seeing parts of their personalities I might have never known. When my time comes to go back to the world of the busy, hard working do it all mom who never has a moment to herself I will hopefully fall back into that world gracefully and not lose too much of my mind in the process. Until then I need to relax and see that being lazy can be awesome and not something to be guilty about.

We Rocked Date Night

On Saturday Josh and I decided we needed to get out and have some kid free time on Saturday. It had been awhile. Actually it had been so long we couldn't remember the last time we had a "date night" or what we even did. We weren't sure what to do though. We had all just had a late lunch at Chili's so dinner was out of the question. We thought about going out on the bike, going to the movies, and a bunch of other random not so exciting stuff. Then I remembered that Korn was playing at the Uptown Theatre! Hello, awesome! I have seen them play several times but Josh hadn't seen them ever. With the Uptown being such a small venue we were super stoked to go. There were still tickets available so we snatched some up and took the kiddos to grandma's.

Neither one of us had ever been to the Uptown. Man is it cool! It was opened in 1928 so it is close to 100 years old and the ornate beauty of that era shines through still to this day with it's brightly painted, elaborately ornamental columns, balconies and archways. When we entered the theater the show had already began so it was pretty dark in there but you could still see how beautiful it was. Josh said it was the perfect venue for Korn to play since it felt like a medieval castle. The first opening act Red Line Chemistry was on stage and they were great. They had a lot of energy and songs I knew. They did a cover of Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty and I have to say it was better than the original.

After they were done there were 2 more acts before Korn: J Devil, which is Jonathan Davis the lead singer of Korn's alter ego who apparently is a DJ but we missed that whole act and another DJ named Sluggo. We caught the very end of his act but both decided that he wasn't anything special. While we were busy missing both of these acts we were outside in the smoker's corral as I lovingly call it. Man was there some good people watching out there! We met some really interesting folks out there. Even got invited out to someone's car to drink some Natty Lights!  We did actually meet a cool couple Clint and Sara from Topeka that we ended up hanging out with most of the night. Some of the members of Red Line Chemistry came out and hung out and talked and took pictures and signed autographs. That was kick ass! They are from KC and are very cool and down to earth. They have definitely found a new fan in me!

When it was time for Korn to come on we shuffled inside to find a place as close as we could to the stage. We soon found we weren't getting as close as we liked since the place was packed. It was seriously asses to elbows on the floor in front of the stage. We found a place probably about 80 feet from the stage (pretty close really). They came on and did not disappoint! They played a bunch of their new stuff but also played a lot of their old favorites of mine like Freak On a Leash, Falling Away From Me, Got the Life, Blind and even did their cover of Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd and a small part of One by Metallica. We were about 3 rows behind what became a huge mosh pit. It was so freaking hot in there though! We were all drenched in sweat. Guys without shirts were walking by with their sweaty ass arms/back/chest rubbing on you as they passed. So gross! I really didn't mind the crowd, the heat or the sweatiness too much since I had a few of their $10 beers in me. Yes I said $10!!! Seriously folks. Ridiculousness. Didn't slow us down though! :) We had the BEST time and got to see a kick ass show by a band that has been around for a long ass time and still brings down the house.

Me and Mike (drummer from Red Line Chemistry)

Josh and Andy (guitar player from Red Line Chemistry)

We were pretty damn close

Can you see how sweaty I am? Gross.