Chicken nuggets are a food group.....Right?

So I have been busy lately. Like stupid busy. The kind of busy that I loathe. The kind of busy that makes my couch a distant memory. And I love my couch! This new job is demanding. It is demanding mentally, by workload and by time. I am working longer and I am working later. It is stressing me out! I am finding that going from being a big fish in a little pond to being a minnow in a vast ocean to be taxing, overwhelming, pushing me closer to that Xanax prescription I am always talking about getting. It's tough being the new kid on the block. I found 2 gray hairs today. W.T.F!? At the same time......and I know I am gonna sound like a mental patient after all the bitching I just did......but I LOVE my job. I love my boss and my new co-workers. I love that I am treated like an adult and given freedom and flexibility. I love that there is no D-R-A-M-A. I love that when I walk out for lunch I am not verbally assaulted by a bum or in fear of being shanked by a mental patient (yeah that was an issue at the old place)! I know that I will get the hang of it. I know that I will be awesome at the job. Just having some growing pains.

Lilah had dance tonight at 5:30. I was supposed to leave work at 4:00 but could not get out of there earlier than 4:30. I really needed to stay later but I had to get her to dance. I drove 30 minutes to daycare (traffic sucks), get both the kids in the car by 5:10. Drive through Mc'ds' since both kids are "starving to death", get to dance, get Lilah's dance clothes on in the back of the car and get her in class just in time. Class is an hour long. By the time we get home it is close to 7. Thank god we have already had Mc'd's. I swear I have not served a proper meal in my house in a month! I really need to get it together. Last night I did serve some baked chicken (cooked last Tuesday to save my thawed chicken from rotting) and some cooked carrots and applesauce. That felt like quite an accomplishment since Spaghettios, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, pop tarts and fast food have been on the menu of late. If they put you in parenting jail for feeding your kids nothing but non nutritious food I would be serving life. I am not proud of that one. I have got to get my head out of my ass. This sure is the total opposite of last summer. I cooked everyday and spent every waking minute with my kids. That was the life. Really. It definitely beats feeling like a hamster in a never stopping spinning wheel.

I have dishes in the sink, laundry to fold, bills to pay, and everywhere I look is a disaster. But wait a minute....Lilah NEEDS her nails painted. She actually holds her hands up and says to me, "Mom, look at these nails. They are driving me craaaaazy!" This child. Such a little diva. I don't want to paint her nails. I have shit to do...like sit on the couch and enjoy the hour of evening I have left. But the look on her face when I told her no. I don't like to break my baby's heart. So I painted her nails.... and her toenails. See you can't do one without the other right? She actually refused to put on the shoes I told her to wear the other day because they didn't match her purse. What? Who's kid is this? Certainly not mine. I could care less about shit like that. She was born high maintenance. Instead of a college fund I am going to start a "But Mommy I NEEEEEEED this fund". She's gonna break me.

Well I gotta go for now. It is past 9 and the little one needs to go to bed. She won't go to bed without me. That's right. I am a bedtime prisoner.

But I do love the snuggles. :)

Look how great these look! Bahahahaha! She said that the colors go together like 'best friends'. How freaking cute is that?

What Whats and Haircuts

What's up people? Not much in my world except that I GOT A NEW JOB! Holla...whoopty woop....what what!! LOL. Seriously though......YES! I am really excited it. Today was my last day at my current job and I wasn't even a little sad to leave. There is just something about the place that oozes bad juju for me. I went through a lot of BS and heartbreak in that building and if it wasn't for the fact that I was breaking in new shoes and my feet hurt like a bitch I might have actually ran out of the building. Now I am sad that I won't be seeing some of my work friends daily but I know that this isn't the end of the friendships we have. Now we will just have more of a reason to get together outside of work.  So now on to bigger and better things! I hate the saying that "Everything happens for a reason" because when you hear it is usually after something shitty happens in your life. However, my life has been a testament to that. Sometimes it is just hard to see when you are waiting for the good to come from the bad.

I am really excited about my new job, the company, the position, the benefits all of it! One tiny drawback is that it is in Overland Park and I will now have to battle traffic and never ending road construction. What is it about Johnson County traffic? I have hated it my whole life and now for the first time in my life I have to drive in it daily. I think I am just spoiled as traffic in the Dotte is non existent. One complaint though...what the hell is up with the construction on State Avenue. At any given time there are a total of 3 people working on it in a 5 mile stretch. At this rate it will be done somewhere around the time Kaleb graduates high school!

Speaking of my handsome ass kid did you see his hair?!?!? He cut it ALL off. It was becoming quite an issue with the two of us. He was not washing it or combing it properly and I was so sick of it. Trying to brush it out was a disaster and either one or the both of us ended up in tears. So I demanded a hair cut. I told him he didn't have to cut it all off but that it needed a "trim" at least. ;) After much deliberation and a look at some haircut books HE decided to go super short. I was shocked and really a little sad. His hair has been long for so long that I was scared that he would regret it and be sad. I was pretty emotional when it was being cut but once I saw that I would be able to see 100% of his beautiful face again I was thrilled. He now reminds me of the little boy I used to have all those years ago except in a way too big body. I am not at all happy with the rate in which he is growing up on me. He just finished the 3rd grade last week. Damn it. BTW I swear his personality changed instantly with the haircut. He seemed more outgoing, more confident. He was eating up all of the attention he was getting too! I put a picture of him on FB that night and he was very pleased that it got over 30 comments. His teacher told me that it was a really big deal the next day at school too and caused quite a ruckus that morning in class.  (Ruckus...what am I...90?) Love this kid! So damn much. 

Before 

Getting ready to chop it off!

Our hair for Locks of Love (that I forgot at the salon :()

We're getting there

Holy Crap...he is a new kid!

Losing It

I have seriously become one of those people who cannot function without a large cup of coffee every morning. It doesn't matter how much sleep I have had or if it is Sunday and my main objective is to lay on the couch and watch TV all day. I need coffee! Josh bought me Keurig for Christmas and it very quickly became my favorite and most used small kitchen appliance. I am currently hooked on the Dunkin Donuts Coconut coffee with Coffeemate Coconut Cream creamer. It is seriously the tits. Anything coconut makes me think of some tropical paradise with white sandy beaches, crystal clear water and hot cabana boys who bring a never ending supply of cocktails and give free shoulder massages. I wish. I so fucking wish.

I have been super stressing about my job situation. I don't know why. It is what it is. I have to find a new job. Sucks. I started working on my resume and found a few jobs that I want to apply for. The thought of going through interviews and starting somewhere new and going through training and working different hours and spending half my life commuting just sounds like hell. My current job is a short drive, offers fantastic hours and I seriously rock my position. Losing all of that makes me sad. And mad. There is a possibility that a job will open there in a different department but I am not holding my breath, nor am I sure that I want to go that route. I am thinking that this is my sign telling me to get out and get out now. I got out before and was never happier. I had some serious second thoughts about going back to the madness and turns out my instincts were pretty right on. Why prolong the inevitable?

The stress is really messing with my brain. I am always a bit scatterbrained but this week was out of control. On Monday nights Lilah has dance at 5:30. I get home about 4:15 with the kids and have to get  everyone fed and her ready and us out the door by 5:15. It is totally manageable if I have the sense to be prepared for it. This Monday I was unprepared. I had nothing planned for dinner, nothing quick and easy to make. Shit. Who wants Wendy's? I get everyones order, get Lilah in the car (she has to go EVERYWHERE I go) and head to Wendy's. I get to the drive thru, order our food and pull up to the window. OMFG I don't have my purse! How the hell did I forget my damn purse? Sorry Wendy's dude but I forgot my purse and have NO money. So I have to go back home and tell Josh I forgot my purse. This is embarrassing for me. He gives me a lot of shit when I do one of my scatterbrained things. So I leave Lilah in the car and go back in for Burger King orders. I am not going back to Wendy's. I was embarrassed and I was afraid they would try to give me the food they already made for me and it would be gross by the time I got it home. Josh shakes his head, gives me his order and back out the door I go. By this time it is about 4:40. Lilah and I are not going to have much time to eat but oh well. I get to Burger King, hit the drive thru, place my order and drive forward. there are 2 cars ahead of me. I reach over to the passenger seat to grab the wallet out of my purse only to discover that I DON"T HAVE MY FUCKING PURSE! Seriously!?!?!?!?! I went home to get my purse and well.....didn't get my purse. Now embarrassment has turned to shame. What the fuck is wrong with me? Do I have early onset Alzheimer's Disease? Is the dementia setting in early? I am out of time. There is no way I can get home, get my purse, get some food, get Lilah fed and ready and get to dance on time. Fuck it I am done.

The worse part you ask? I had to go back home empty handed and tell Josh that I forgot my purse again. Of course he thinks I am crazier than a bag of wet cats. I walk in the front door and he says, "Where's the food?". I say "There is no food. If you want some food get up and get it yourself!". Because you know it is totally his fault that I forgot my purse twice. And how dare you think that I am solely responsible for providing food for the entire family at every single meal time and don't you know how much fucking stress I am under? I have to work and do laundry and buy groceries and make dinner and pay bills and clean this house and find a new job and be a mother to two kids. "Eat a fucking corndog!". :) I wasn't nice. It wasn't his fault. Kids ate a corndog and I took Lilah to dance. I eventually calmed down and got over it. We even finally got some food. 3rd times a charm!