It has been almost 4 weeks since I have joined the ranks of the unemployed. Is it right to say unemployed when I have no desire to be employed? It has been quite an emotional roller coaster! I am very happy about being home and being with my baby girl all day. That is the one constant that keeps me from being TOTALLY freaked out! I can't help it. It is not in my nature to go with the flow. I am a planner. To not know what is going to come next for me is frightening. I am terrified.
I think what terrifies me the most is that I am going to be really crappy at this stay at home mom thing. I had such high expectations of myself. At first I was on a roll, a lot of cooking and trying new recipes, cleaning and lots of time playing with Lilah. I have found lately that I am getting distracted easily and lazy and not doing anything some days. The computer is the worst distractor ever! I can sit down to balance my checkbook, pay bills, look up a recipe and get sucked in to FaceBook, Pinterest, Blogger and all of the new and interesting things they lead me to. Not to mention the online shopping! I get an email from Old Navy about a sale and I spend 40 minutes looking at everything, trying to find good deals to never end up buying anything because, duh, I am unemployed and that would be stupid! Lilah does not need another piece of freaking clothing no matter how cute or cheap it is! Goal for week 5: stay focused and stay off the damn computer! ;)
Another big terrifying factor is money! In this economy it is really not feasible for us to live off of one income, especially when all of our bills reflect the lifestyle of a two income family. The major expense of daycare has been eliminated but I still need to bring in some money unless we want to eliminate all of the fun out of our lives completely. I have been brainstorming trying to come up with something to avoid working full time for now. I will be crafty and sell my crafts on Etsy, I will clean houses, I will bartend on the weekends, I will be a famous blogger...ha ha ha!
Or maybe it just isn't meant to be and I will rejoin the ranks of the overly exhausted, desperate for some time to do anything but just meet the minimum requirements of woman, wife and mother who loathes her boss and daydreams in a cubicle daily of the short time during her life where she was exuberantly happy and blessed to be doing what she truly wanted to do.
I think what terrifies me the most is that I am going to be really crappy at this stay at home mom thing. I had such high expectations of myself. At first I was on a roll, a lot of cooking and trying new recipes, cleaning and lots of time playing with Lilah. I have found lately that I am getting distracted easily and lazy and not doing anything some days. The computer is the worst distractor ever! I can sit down to balance my checkbook, pay bills, look up a recipe and get sucked in to FaceBook, Pinterest, Blogger and all of the new and interesting things they lead me to. Not to mention the online shopping! I get an email from Old Navy about a sale and I spend 40 minutes looking at everything, trying to find good deals to never end up buying anything because, duh, I am unemployed and that would be stupid! Lilah does not need another piece of freaking clothing no matter how cute or cheap it is! Goal for week 5: stay focused and stay off the damn computer! ;)
Another big terrifying factor is money! In this economy it is really not feasible for us to live off of one income, especially when all of our bills reflect the lifestyle of a two income family. The major expense of daycare has been eliminated but I still need to bring in some money unless we want to eliminate all of the fun out of our lives completely. I have been brainstorming trying to come up with something to avoid working full time for now. I will be crafty and sell my crafts on Etsy, I will clean houses, I will bartend on the weekends, I will be a famous blogger...ha ha ha!
Or maybe it just isn't meant to be and I will rejoin the ranks of the overly exhausted, desperate for some time to do anything but just meet the minimum requirements of woman, wife and mother who loathes her boss and daydreams in a cubicle daily of the short time during her life where she was exuberantly happy and blessed to be doing what she truly wanted to do.
Staying home and not bringing a paycheck anymore was quite an adjustment for us four years ago, but we tweaked some things and I watched a little girl after school to help with finances and it was well worth it! I started working full time after my daughter was four and in preschool but I have a few personal days I am using for her programs at school...so it all works out! Enjoy your time off!!
ReplyDelete